The Real End of History

No, I'm talking about the coming (yeah, right) utopia. Where's utopia? Nowhere. I'm talking about Americans not having a sense of history or any historical sense. It isn't that no Americans remember important dates. Some of us do. Some of us are big readers of, say, the Civil War. Some people know a great deal about Revolutionary America or about the fight for civil rights. But knowing about separate periods or historical events is not the same as having a historical sense.

If we did have historical sense we would not have gotten into the idiocy of McCarthyism in the fifties because we could have asked where Stalinists came from and what was the likelihood that anything like that was going to happen here. After all, was it happening in England or France in the fifties? Was it happening anywhere by consent of the people and without a great deal of bloodshed? (In case you don't know, no, it wasn't.) Had it happened anywhere where there was not a great deal of political backwardness and total absence of workable infrastructure? No. Did Marxism fill the vacuum anywhere besides Russia and China? No. And there it did so after long campaigns of widespread murder.

Marxism needed corruption. We were deathly afraid that the pinkos would overthrow our entire way of life for a big part of the last century. And all of it was to no point. Nowadays Newt Gingrich and Lush Rimbaugh are trying to scare the hell out of some Americans that European style socialism is again on the march. Will Americans be fooled twice? I doubt it.

But the Republicans are going to miss a good opportunity for soul searching and for figuring out what sort of real politics they can develop. I don't say that Republicans are going to go away. They aren't. There are too many people in this country who believe in Big Business No Matter What The Poison and live on Anti-Abortion Fervor. That is not likely to disappear. Republicans will get voted back in because they are the only option people have when it comes to punishing Democrats. Our two party system shows no signs of erosion. Half of Republicans are even willing to put all their chips on the likes of Sarah Palin, as improbable as that may seem.

But it isn't just the GOP that has no use for history. Obama is too much the man of graphs and flow charts. It's too bad that none of them came in history books. Oh, sure, he may know a lot of facts about constitutional issues or even something of economics -- or at least of more recent players in the field. But what does he know about presidential history or biography? He has no sense of biography or story in general. He's a facts and figures sort of guy. Like most folks of our stupid era his is big on analysis of discrete problems. He has no power of synthesis. No one with any real notion of narrative would attack the financial crisis in so muddled a manner. No natural storyteller would jump into the health care issue will he's deep into the economic plot. Nor would he have picked the cackhanded Clinton for Secretary of State when we are lousy with people who can sound sensible and fake sincerity (H Clinton is weakest on the latter, if you hadn't noticed). Although you can't argue with idiots, you can shake hands with the devil. Of course the devil is likely to test his new air-to-ground missile the next day but that's no major difficulty when you are filled with the audacity of rosy-glasses. You can talk all you want to sharks and maggots, but at the end of the talk they are still sharks and maggots and haven't understood a damn thing.

But see, this is what you get when all of your smartest people are thinking about theory instead of history. Put down thy Foucault and pick up thy Shakespeare. If Obama can't be bothered with Robert Caro or Richard Pipes, Simon Schama, that kind of thing, read some Plutarch for gods' sake.

Gnashing of Teeth

Reporter: What exactly is Mr. Obama doing about the health care problem?

Bob Gibbs: The president is currently hard at work on this huge problem. Fifty million Americans have no health insurance at all -- and who knows how many Americans have insurance that is so crappy they almost never use it! I mean, it's bad.

Reporter: Yes, but that wasn't the question.

Bob Gibbs: Oh, right. [Long pause] What was the question?

Reporter: What exactly is the president doing about the problem.

Bob Gibbs: Sure. He's doing all kinds of things. So many things I can't even keep up. But I can tell you that it is not just empty words and arm waving. It also includes lots and lots of bruxism.

Reporter: Really?

Bob Gibbs: Absolutely. Michelle can't sleep in the same room with him anymore. She says it sounds like someone trying to scratch out of their own coffin.

Reporter: Yeah, about that. Some guys in the Secret Service started a rumor that that's just Dick Cheney trying to freak them out.

Bob Gibbs: A rumor?

Reporter: It's unconfirmed but it could be true. Cheney's a bastard.

She Turned Him Into A Newt (And He Didn't Get Better) Gingrich

Here's dinosaur who is attempting to scrape and scratch up out of the slime-pit of political irrelevance: Newt. He's a lizard of very little difference. The short version is that these guys like RL and Rupert Murdoch's Foxpack and Newt Grime-Grinch want to tar the Democrats with anything dark and sticky -- the truth be damned. They will even pull out ideas that are sixty years old, like McCarthyism. This last week Newt has been marshaling the stupid troops and attempting to fire up the base (is there an election anywhere in sight?) with all kinds of hate toward his political opponents -- yeah, I know, that's what politicians tend to do. No big whoop.

Unless. . . unless what? Obama is a socialist after all, right? Right? Er, left? Unless there is a giant problem with this whole notion of their being a political left anywhere in America.

See, words ought to mean something. If Newt or anybody else wants to attack Obama for being a socialist, there really ought to be some content to the term.

What Newt is trying to say is exceedingly simple (go figure). Obama is Lenin, or Stalin, or Satan. It's a lot of fun that he can say this and not say it at the same time. (He'd have his cake and eat it too but Rush ain't sharing any of the cake. Just look at that fat bastard, I mean, really, this stuff writes itself!) Using the real words would make it easier for us all to see how stupid this rancid Republican rhetoric really is. If Newt and the other GOP guppies were to say that Obama is about to make us the United Soviets of America, people might start to think about the alleged reality of this statement. That might lead to, you know, reading history . . . Think of the carnage!

Is there any fact to this assertion that Obama is attempting to usher in European socialism? Well, first, we have to put a few more words in Newt's mouth so we can get some sense out of the big dope. Newt seems to be saying by European socialism that we should think Marxism. That's socialism as in one of the esses in U.S.S.R. So the implication is clear: hate Obama or there go all your rights. You think it's bad now? Well, we could be having the same situation as they have in France or the UK -- they're socialists, right? I mean, England is part of Mother Russia, no? Um, no. Or, they're about to become pals of Putin, no? Um, well. You know.

Anybody who knows anything about history, or who has perhaps read Richard Pipes monumental book on the Russian Revolution can tell you that there was never any threat that communists (it means the same thing as socialist, technically) were about to take over the United States. Yeah, there were spies, but there was about to be a revolution in America. It was all paranoia. A war with Russia was more likely and that wasn't very likely, as history demonstrated.

Communism only ever took root in Russia and China. These places had a lot in common with each other and very little in common with America of the 1950s. As far as European socialism, whatever we decide that is, that too is unlikely to be traipsed in by Mr. Obama or anybody else. It would require our tax structure to be completely overhauled, and that is not about to happen anytime soon.

Not in the next four years, anyway. That's about as close to a guarantee as you can get in politics.

Crush Limbaugh

Blush Lameballs is at it again. No, wait -- he's always at it. He's been doing the same shtick for thirty years. But at the moment more people are paying attention to him. These are people who have probably paid some attention to him in the past, but just now in this time of crisis are anxious to see if any Famous People have Answers.

It's for this very reason that more of my acquaintances are listening to RL (Republican Lush); i.e., that there is an economic crisis afoot. This is precisely what the Fat One paradoxically denies existing. There is no crisis. Crisis, what crisis? We don't need no stinking crisis! Or was that Chrylers?

There's no economic crisis because Lameballs ate it: Crunch, Smack, Gulp! Hey skipper, where's Gilligan? In fact, I think the Fat One may have eaten the Professor and Mary Ann and the rest of them.